What do you need? What do you want?

Written on July 19, 2012 by Kaarina in Business, Marketing, Motivational and Inspirational

What do you need? What do you want?When was the last time a service provider asked you this question, before launching into their pitch?

I’ve never written a blog post about “what I do”, because it’s not about what I do…it’s about what I can do FOR you.

I found it really difficult to translate “what I do for you” online, and resisted posting my services and prices for a very long time, because what’s worked for me IRL (in real life) for 30 years now, doesn’t really translate well online.

It’s only recently that I did so here, and I must confess, I did it with a lot of trepidation and reservation.

In real life, this is usually how a first encounter goes.

At a first meeting, whether that be at an event, a chance encounter, a social gathering, one of the first questions that someone asks is “What do you do?”

Here’s my response, and how the conversation generally unfolds:

Me: “What do you need done?” (said with a smile)

Person: laughs…is taken aback…doesn’t really know what to say…

Me: “Hey, I could give you a standard answer, like I’m a business coach. Or a typical elevator speech that says I help you be the best you can be, in business and in life, for your increased prosperity and profitability. But what’s really important is what I can do FOR YOU. And if I can’t help you, I’m sure I can find or recommend someone who can.”

This approach invariably leads into a conversation about the person’s needs and wants. I offer perspective, suggestions and recommendations.  Tidbits of “free” advice and suggestions, given freely, with pleasure. And if the person really doesn’t know what they need or want…well, I simply say “Hey, that’s OK. If there’s ever anything I can lend a hand with, don’t hesitate to contact me.”

In either case, and in the majority of times, the person asks for my contact information, and I theirs.

I ALWAYS follow up with something that will be meaningful to THEM.

If, for instance, they shared that they have an interest in, say, photography, I might follow up with a link to some beautiful photos, and/or a handwritten card with a beautiful photo on front.

If they share information on their company (and they do),  I research their company and look for things that I can comment on, like “great to hear that you’ve combined efforts with company xyz: wishing you lots of luck”, or “congratulations on the new appointment to your company”.

The more I provide value to them, the more I believe that, when and if they need my services for THEIR benefit, they’ll turn to me. And if they don’t happen to need my services (did I just say that out loud?), I hope they will refer me to those who do.

You see, I believe every person we meet in life is at least one of these:

A client/customer

A champion

A connector

A supplier

An ambassador

When we think only in terms of “making the sale”, we miss the opportunity of making a connection that will benefit both parties.

Here’s a few examples of what I share in my training.

Envision the line from the movie “Pretty Woman”, where Julia Roberts says “Big mistake. Big. Huge.”

You can be sure that:

  • the person who cut you off in traffic and you flip the bird to is the potential client you’re racing to meet with.
  • the person who jammed you in the back of the ankles with their shopping cart at the grocery story, and you swore a blue streak at, is the person you’ll meet with the next day as you’re pitching for a contract
  • the person who appeared somewhat dishevelled and in casual attire at the airport, that you dissed and dismissed, is actually the CEO of the company you’re looking to work with

You get the drift.

When we make nicey-nicey, put on the charm and start the plaid-coated-used-car-salesman pitch, thinking we’re “all that and a bag of chips”, believing that we’ll seal the deal by saying what we DO, I say STOP! Speak to the person’s WIIFM…their “what’s in it for me?”

I call the former the Grandma’s brag book syndrome, where someone gives you their resume in the first few moments of meeting them.

No need to brag. No need to push-sell.

Instead, pull-market. Find out all you can about the person you’re speaking to. Listen twice as much as you speak. Discover what they need: how to reduce their pain and/or solve their problem. Give freely, and with joy.

When you do that, you not only pay-it-forward: you create business opportunities.

I love what I do. But more importantly, I love what I can do for you.

Do you find out what someone needs and wants, or do you launch into your sales pitch right off the bat?

Are you a good listener?

Do you enjoy what you do for others?

My Mission: A simple 3 words – To spread joy

My Mantra: “If I have been of service, If I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, If I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, If I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.” ~ Alex Noble

It’s my purpose, in business and in life, to be of service.

It’s a good life.

  • http://twitter.com/rdopping Ralph Dopping

    Hi Kaarina, up early as usual. 

    Just passing by the places that have new stuff to share this morning and I have read some really great pieces already. One thing I love, love, love about blogging is the deeper connected-ness you can get from someone even if you haven’t met just by reading a few entries. It’s akin to listening for me (wink, wink).

    Long ago, I used to be a terrible listener and often wondered why I wasn’t getting the results I was expecting in my professional life. Your approach is, to me, very crucial not only in your professional but also in your personal life. As a design professional listening to my clients is the ONLY way that I am going to understand their needs and in this profession your success will suffer if personal agendas and ego get in the way of understanding the needs of your client.

    Was I the guy that flipped you the bird as you cut me off on the way to the grocery store? Nope but I have done that and actually thought “Crap, what if that’s someone I know?” It’s easy to judge and it can come back to bite you in the ass. For sure.

    Thanks for showing us the “business end” of the Kaarina stick. Huh? Just sounded like a fun thing to say. You list of who we all can be is an important one to remember. Thanks. :-)

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Good morning you early riser @twitter-229922134:disqus . I rarely do a “business end of the Kaarina stick” post, but this just felt right and timely. I’ve been contemplating for a while if my posts should take a more business-oriented focus, so we shall see.

      Listening is the #1 way to find out a customer’s wants and needs, even when they themselves are unsure. That allows you to ask prompt questions, and to delve deeper.

      I love that line, “was the guy that flipped you the bird on the way to the grocery store?” I could weave that into the examples for a double punch line, haha! Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://twitter.com/bdorman264 Bill Dorman

    Whew, I’m glad you didn’t say the plaid-suited insurance salesman……….and I’m wearing a blue blazer today in case you were wondering………

    Because my industry has programmed the customer to treat us like vendors, I have to ask a lot of questions to see what the prospect/customer is really trying to achieve. If it’s just to shop their insurance to find the cheapest price then I typically tell them to just look in the yellow pages. If they are looking for someone to help them control their total cost of risk and not just the insurance policy, then they will probably be a good fit for us. 

    Asking the meaningful questions AND really listening to the answer will elevate you to the point you will have an opportunity to tell what you do and how you bring value to the people you work with. 

    Sales is not a bad word, just don’t be that ‘creepy’ salesman, huh? 

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Point well taken @twitter-34985693:disqus , you blue-blazer’d insurance salesman you;)

      Asking good probe questions and listening effectively…a spot-on combination. And sales is not a dirty word, and the only ‘creepy’ salesmen are those who still believe that push-selling and in-your-face pressure works. I can’t believe that some people still believe that the louder and longer they talk, usually with a scripted text, works. Not. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://twitter.com/CrossBetsy Betsy Cross

    In the end (and the beginning and middle!) I’m all about relationships. My job might be in helping people with their family history, but goal is always about connecting with the person – getting to know them, what their life is about, their history. I love doing what I do, but I could never do it or any job if I couldn’t make connections. And if the delivery person or janitor crosses my path, they are fair game, too!!

    Probably could have said, “Ditto to your post”, and left it at that!

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Ah, but I’m so glad you didn’t leave it at “ditto” @twitter-562128902:disqus :) I love your line about the delivery person or janitor: we are kindred spirits in that regard:) Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://twitter.com/adamtoporek Adam Toporek

    I think we were on similar wavelengths today — both had posts with a focus on listening. I agree with so much in this post, particularly that it can be very dangerous to judge a book by its cover.

    You mention not jumping into the sales pitch — if you ask the right questions, you usually don’t need a pitch, you can just help fulfill the person’s needs.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       I’ll now head over to your place @twitter-223833082:disqus . Thanks for stopping by, and I’m definitely on the same wavelength…I don’t believe in “sales pitches”. Ask, listen, solve a problem. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://newenglandmultimedia.com/ Michelle Quillin

    Kaarina, this post resonates with me on so many levels.

    First: Listening instead of talk-talk-talking — One of the most important things I’ve learned about relationships is that the more interested you are in others, the easier it is to carry on a conversation and build a relationship with a total stranger. Ask questions! If you’re truly interested in people, it’s a lot of fun getting them to share and open up, and then you’ll see where and how you can meet their needs — or hook them up with people who can. (I love the way you follow up, too!)

    Second: Bad attitudes — Social media has provided a very revealing look inside the lives of potential customers and service providers. Who wants to work with, write reference letters for, or refer business to someone who flies off the handle at the drop of a hat, trash talks everyone, or complains constantly? Part of me wants to keep sounding the warning,  but the other part of me is thankful for the insight. Know what I mean?

    Third: I love your mantra. If more of us took on the mantle of spreading joy instead of anger and hate, the world would be a much lovelier place for all — and people with bad attitudes might be transformed by the kindnesses shown. I’d like to think so, at least.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       @michellequillin:disqus , you make so many good points, and I’m particularly interested in your thoughts about those who fly off the handle or complain constantly. There seems to be quite a bit of the latter lately. I just ran a successful meeting for the staff of a company, where I shared my axiom: “don’t go to your “boss” with a problem…go with potential solutions”. That eliminates much of the gripe and complain (and dump on someone else’s plate) syndrome. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://markharai.com Mark Harai

     I love your mindset Kaarina; we think in very similar ways…

    I’ve always felt like we were kindred spirits ma’am…

    Keep spreading  that magic you have with others Kaarina – it’s good for the world : )

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Thanks so much @markharai:disqus : I’ve sensed from the outset that we’re kindred spirits:) I will continue to spread the “magic”…thanks for phrasing it it such a lovely way. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://www.vidyasury.com/ Vidya Sury

    When I saw your newsletter in my mailbox this morning, when I logged in – I right-clicked to see the post preview (yeah, I am smart like that). The title had me grinning – and I thought it was Def Leppard’s Joe Elliot was asking – and I said, “I want rock and roll”.

    In my sales career (what am I saying? we promote all the time, don’t we? :-) ) I was all about coming across as a consultant and not a sales person. In my mind, a prospect and a client were both friends – and that made those “sales” calls easier. Somehow, I knew I intuitively did the right thing because it suited my personality. I’d keep track of the industry (ever the scrapbooker) – send news clippings (no emails those days), send birthday cards, festival greetings, good deals. I worked in Office Automation and then, Industrial Components – and most of all, I listened. Waiting time at clients’ offices were never wasted.  People usually find me easy to talk to (probably because of my spectacles and the almost smile I have on my face all the time) – and I also have a tendency to strike up a conv. with everyone.

    In fact, waiting on one of my sales calls was at a Language Institute. I realized I had to hang around every day for about three months – and since I couldn’t afford to do it during the day time, I found out that the Dean had a class until 7. That gave me an hour and a half  between work and meeting him. So I enrolled in the Spanish Class – which was also from 6 to 7. Guess what? The Spanish teacher turned out to be a big influence on that major order – which turned out to be the sale of the year. More significant because it was a break through into a major account. Shucks, THEY had a party for me when we delivered the machines – for my persistence, which paid off. I also gained a language and many fast friends.

    You refer to my alliteration, but I really was queen of referrals. And even though I shifted three jobs in those nine years – I worked the same market – and got the same respect.

    So – (I was about to say long story short, but realized I’ve already stacked it up there) the WIIFM from the client’s point of view concept simply rocks and rolls.

    Loved the post. I am not at all surprised by your thinking, Kaarina. :D

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       You are a wise woman @vidyasury:disqus . Listening, patience, tenacity and realizing that everyone we meet is a potential “cog in the wheel of our life”, leads to success. And I relate to being a queen of referrals. It gives me great satisfaction to be able to hook people up to one another, and I gladly refer people to others who can be of assistance, or whom I believe should simply meet one another.

      I hadn’t even thought of Joe Elliot’s “What do you want?” , but I, too, want rock and roll:) Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://www.late-bloomers.net Barbara Klein

    Hi, Kaarina, good morning from Switzerland! You know how nice (and invigorating) it is to read such a lovely me-post first thing in the morning? Thank you!

    For me it is all about respect, listening and relationships, if it is paired (can you pair three things to another?) with a sunny disposition such as yours, you make the world a better place.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Thanks so much @BarbaraKlein:disqus : that makes my day:) I sent you a DM the other day, following up. Hope all is well. Sending you sunshine and hugs. Cheers! Kaarina

      • http://www.late-bloomers.net Barbara Klein

        Oops, yes, I got it, hope I did reply to it, checking right now … 

  • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

    In my profession, I have to be a good listener. I am a shrink and unless we hear what the other person is saying, we really don’t get anywhere. But yes, telling them what you can do for them is a little easy and tough at the same time. We know we should be matching to their expectations and something maybe even going against their ideas (maybe something that is maintaining their current state of distress). 

    So, maybe conveying the idea might be a little challenge, but yes, the end result remains the same… giving joy! :)  

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       @hajrak:disqus , I would think that in your profession, listening is a top priority skill:) And like you say, if we all just took a pay-it-forward, share-the-joy attitude, rather than griping and grumbling, the world would be such a lighter place.

      As they saying goes, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain. And they do.” To spreading joy:) Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://www.thejackb.com/ The JackB

    I sometimes wonder how many people really know what they need. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help when you don’t what to ask for.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Very, very true @TheJackB:disqus . I say that we all operate among three “bubbles”…The “IKWIK, or I know what I know” bubble, that leads to the “IKWIDK, or I know what I don’t know” bubble (and hence can find out or discover), but the biggest giant bubble is the “IDKWIDK, or I don’t know what I don’t know” bubble.

      But as a business coach, that’s OK, because that vast unknown terrain allows for very specific questions to be asked.

      People are really good at telling me what they don’t want, or don’t want to do. But when I ask them, “Can you clearly articulate to me that which you want or need?”, I usually get a blank stare. But a blank stare gives me a big clue on how much work is to be done. Cheers! Kaarina

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