Today’s post is brought to you by Guest Blogger Stuart Mills of Unlock the Door. I’m delighted that Stuart kindly agreed to Guest Post here at decide2do.
In Stuart’s words, his site, Unlock The Door,” is a personal development website which provides you with the keys that you seek to unlock the potential in your life, and to access the better person within yourself. Here is my mission in life: to help others, to serve the Universe, and to leave this world a better place than when I found it. Pretty big ambitions, but I’m determined to stay true, and I have a vehicle to drive me forward. It is Unlock The Door. This place is for people who are genuinely interested in improving themselves, who have an interest in being better at what they do. What this place is about, is giving without expectation of getting.”
Join me in welcoming Stuart to this neighbourhood. I hope you’ll chime in with your comments after reading his great post.
We’re all liars
That may seem a little harsh to some of you, but the bare truth of it is that we can be all classed as liars, because we have all lied before. Like with writing and blogging, we may not be blogging or writing right now, but because we have written or blogged in the past, we can still call ourselves ‘writers’ or ‘bloggers’. The same applies to lying.
I say this not to put you down or to dishearten you – I say this because I want to reveal this paradox. It’s a truth that we all lie. If we say we never lie, then that in itself is a lie, because we have lied before. It’s part of human nature to lie, as is telling the truth. It’s all a natural process.
What’s more confusing is that even if we lie, we sometimes get mistaken for telling the truth, and if we tell the truth, we sometimes get mistaken for lying. It’s a fine mess of words at times!
A Tale Of Truth
I once read a story told in Doing Nothing by Steven Harrison, where a king of a large city was once disturbed by the relative appearance of truth. He wanted to find the ultimate expression of truth, which no-one could deny or question. So, he decided to enforce absolute truth by law.
He created a simple law – if anyone entered his city and didn’t tell the absolute truth, they would be hanged. The king was content – he was sure he had found the ultimate expression of truth beyond any doubt. Many people entered the city, and some were hanged for telling lies, whilst others were pardoned for speaking the absolute truth.
Nearby the king’s city lived a madman, a mystic who was feared and revered for his way with words. When he heard the king’s decree, he laughed out loud, and decided to go to the city to present himself before the king. The madman arrived in the city, and spoke before the king,
“By your decree, today you will hang me for telling this lie.”
The king was stunned. He could not hang the madman because then the mystic would have spoken the absolute truth, but he couldn’t let him go free because then he would have lied. Instead of doing either, the king gave up his city and went off with the mad mystic to learn the true meaning of absolute truth.
Is it now possible to see how a mess can easily be made with words? Words can tangle, words can entrap. What one person may think is a lie, the other person may think is true. It’s easy to see why some politicians have a bad reputation as they spin their words to carefully avoid being caught out.
The game of words is a complex one, and one which everyone tries to survive. In work situations, in home situations, with friends and peers – we all speak words in order to convey our emotions , to survive the madness of the world, and to try and get ahead at every opportunity. Here are some examples:
- We threaten and shout at the kids when we want to get some peace
- We try and convince a potential customer to buy from us
- We sweet-talk our partner into buying something for us, promising a reward later
- We moan about the economy in the hopes that others will befriend us
- We gossip about friends in order to feel superior to them
It’s easy to get tangled up in the web of words. Our unconscious desires for respect and appreciation take hold, and we find ourselves saying things we might not really mean.
But there is a way to get out of this web, and to lose the strands and strings that tie you into the chaos of the words of today.
You can be an arrow.
The Arrow Through The Web
What do you think about when you think of an arrow? Straight? True? Sharp? These qualities are the qualities which I now adopt when speaking words. And I think you could benefit from this approach too.
An arrow is an object that flies in a straight line for a set amount of time, sometimes for long distances, and never deviates from its path. If shot well, it will hit the mark. In this tangled chaos of words, we find ourselves going back and forth, following lines and threads which lead to more lines and threads, and there never seems to be an end, all because we rely on lies to help us survive.
So, why not be true? Why not be straight as an arrow, and avoid lies altogether?
Here is my challenge to you, if you’re ready to accept it. Don’t tell any lies. Avoid telling any form of lie (white lie, bold lie, half-lie, etc.), and only focus on telling the truth. No matter how hard it is, and no matter how much you think the other person will hate you afterwards, always tell the truth. Whatever words come out of your mouth, make sure they are true.
Don Miguel Ruiz talked about this in his book, The Four Agreements. He said that words had power, and those who used words for their own gain were practicing black magic and were creating chaos. You can use whatever imagery you want, but the meaning remains the same. Words have power, and you can either add to the web, or you can puncture through it.
I’m not perfect. I don’t advise challenges if I’m not ready to do them myself, or have already done them, and I set this challenge for myself just as much as I set it for you. I still find myself telling little lies here and there, and I wish I wouldn’t. It may appear to solve problems, or avoid problems at the time, but I know that it will catch up with me at some point. What goes around, comes around.
And so, I set this challenge to follow it myself, and to do my best in eliminating the lies that I speak. I will stumble many times, but I won’t ever stop trying.
So, are you in?
Stuart is a personal development blogger who wants to help you improve at life. He thinks you’re awesome. You can often find him at Unlock The Door (http://unlockthedoor.net/), where he writes constantly to make it a better day for everyone, and you can subscribe to his content here http://feeds.feedburner.com/unlockthedoor