What will you do when no one is looking?

Written on August 3, 2012 by Kaarina in Business, Marketing, Motivational and Inspirational

What will you do when no one is looking?I just caught a few moments of an interview by George Stroumboulopoulos with Susan Cain, author of “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking“.

As I consider myself to be a total extrovert, I thought I’d take her quiz here . Go ahead and take it, and then come back…I’ll wait.

So, are you an Extrovert, Introvert or Amibivert?

I’m an Extrovert. No surprise there.

However, as I read some of the description of the Introvert, I thought, hey!…that’s me too. I like my solitude, I listen well so I think thoughtfully before I speak (well, maybe not always:), and I definitely have an active “inner” life, where I’m happy to be with my thoughts and dreams, writing, painting, taking photos and just communing with nature. So I’m glad that at the end of the quiz, Susan quoted the words of Carl Jung:

“There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.”

One of the key points that I caught on the fly with George’s interview with Susan was how much we used to value the “thinkers”, and how now we so value the “broadcasters”…the bigger-than-life, see-me people, whose mouths are like megaphones and competition for the “expert-guru-thought leader” podium position is rampant.

I caught the line “when no one is watching”, and it got me to thinking…how many times do we do something when no one is watching?

There are things we do to be noticed, and there are things we do to make a difference. They are not mutually exclusive, but what can you do today when no one is watching, and without the need for recognition? How can you pay-it-forward today without need of reward or recognition, save for the biggest reward…the joy you feel in your heart and soul for having done it.

It’s tough sometimes. In business we want customers. We want to make money. We want to be seen and heard, respected and…well, we want people to buy from us. And the marketplace now is so full of noise that sometimes we can get caught up into the screamfest, and forget:

It’s the small, meaningful gestures that make a big difference. Like sending a thank-you card, bringing a small token gift to a client just because you know they’ll like it.

Good deeds should be done simply because they’re good. Opening the door for someone. Picking up litter on the sidewalk. Helping someone with their packages out to their car.

Good manners mean something. Please. Thank you. I appreciate that. I’m grateful. Letting someone who has one item at the check-out go before you who has a cartload.

Knowing people’s names. Following up. Smiling. Answering the phone with a smile in your voice. Looking people in the eye when you’re having a conversation (not texting or looking over their shoulder for the next-best-thing)

These are all things that make a difference in the lives of the people we touch. And we never know if the person we just encountered isn’t our next potential client, customer or contact. And even if they’re not, does that mean we reserve our “Sunday best” only for those who can do something for us?

It gives me great pleasure each day to be able to do something that others might enjoy, learn from, be entertained by, be informed with, be inspired by and leave a little lighter, brighter, happier, healthier or wiser, whatever that may be.

My friend Mark Harai made a comment over on a post here  , when he said “I’ve always subscribed to ‘servant leadership’.”

I like that, because when we do things to “serve”, we really do make the world a better place.

I’ll share some words from a blog post I wrote recently, in which I shared my Mission and my Mantra:

My Mission: A simple 3 words – To spread joy

My Mantra: “If I have been of service, If I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, If I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, If I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.” ~ Alex Noble

It’s my purpose, in business and in life, to be of service…whether someone is watching or not.

What can you do today, to be of service, without need of something in return?

Can you share a story of something you did when “no one was watching”, and how that made you feel?

Are you an Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert? I’d love to know:)

 

  • http://twitter.com/bdorman264 Bill Dorman

    I like to pick the underwear out of my ass when no one is looking; otherwise, it is not sociall acceptable. 

    Like Mark, I adhere to servant leadership; I look for ways to help others whether it be in business or social. Even though I ‘sell’ insurance, I am silly enough to believe I am actually helping you but providing what you need and meeting your expectations instead of making our relationship all about a ‘policy.’

    I’m definitely and extrovert, but I have enough introvert qualities to enjoy my ‘me’ time as well. 

    I’m walking out the door to play golf; good Friday indeed. 

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       @twitter-34985693:disqus , I know you’re probably on the golf course by now, but you make me LAUGH! I think you need to create a collection of your one-liner responses…we’ll make them into a book and call it “invisible responses to visible problems”;)

      Thanks for dropping by: I do believe we’re birds of a feather. Cheers! Snowshoes

  • http://www.thejackb.com/ The JackB

    This is going to sound silly, but I don’t want to say what I did because it defeats the purpose of my doing it. 

    It feels a bit awkward to say anything because I didn’t do it because I wanted praise. I did it because I wanted to help people. I am a long way from perfect, but the only way I know to make things better is to spend some time helping others for no reason other than it is the right thing to do.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       That is a spot-on answer to the question @TheJackB:disqus , both the not sharing because it defeats the purpose, and the doing it “for no reason other than it is the right thing to do.” If only each person would be motivated to do so…Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://www.KarmicKappuccino.com Steve Rice

    I am an extrovert.  Kinda knew that already, but this quiz was a little fun.  I do revert into more of an introvert “lite” if there is someone else in the group who’s more extroverted than I…and I kinda like that sometimes.

    Nice thought provoking post, Kaarina

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Thanks for dropping by @Steve_Rice:disqus . Quizzes can be fun, even if they’re only light, quick brushstrokes. And any time thoughts can be provoked, it’s a good day:) Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://markharai.com Mark Harai

    Hi Kaarian!

    I’m an introvert :o

    Just kidding…

    Words are the most powerful things on the planet. They move everything around us.

    Like you, I desire my words (whether written or spoken) to move people in a positive direction. The community needs to move forward. Our personal lives need to move forward. Our businesses need to move forward.

    In many ways, together, through just daily conversations on the social web, we are creating a better future for our own lives and the lives of those around us.

    It’s the quality of people and conversations we’re having that is shaping and creating the quality of our life experience.

    I’ve surrounded myself with the brightest minds on the social web. I get inspired and moved in positive directions everyday; by people like you and the majority of people right here in this community.

    How awesome is that!

    I expect good things to come to us… In my life and lives of others who are investing their souls into their online work and the relationships that develop as a result.

    Nothing can stop that from happening.

    Happy Friday Kaarina!

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       What an inspirational message to deliver on this lovely Friday @markharai:disqus . I believe that when we add to someone’s day, in whatever way we can, the world becomes that little bit better.

      I, like you, believe that all good things come, not to those who wait, but to those who take action, each and every day, in the direction of their dreams, for the benefit of a larger whole. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://cirquedumot.com/new-readers/ Susan Silver

    Total introvert. The internet has been a great boon for me. I can research and focus. It also allows me to be a solopreuner and pursue my writing craft. I find when I have been in corporate situations that my quietness gets mistaken for not caring, when I am actually being quite serious. I think in the past their has been a burden on introverts to “prove” themselves to peers. It seems more of us have been in the public eye and that is changing perceptions. 

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Bravo to you @ssilver:disqus , for embracing who you are and using the tools at hand to pursue your craft. Susan Cain talks about that burden to “prove”, because introversion is often mistaken by others as aloofness, not caring or shyness. No need to prove: just be yourself:) That’s a message we should all heed. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://www.late-bloomers.net Barbara Klein

    Love your intriguing title, my first thought was: no, I will not tell everybody that I am picking my nose …

    I am a mongrel which does not surprise me, what with being Cancer and having Leo as my ascendant (just in case you believe in astrology).

    I am grateful for having been taught good manners, combined with wanting to please (this for my own wellbeing and maybe bringing a smile on people’s faces) and trying to shut out negativity makes me a fairly nice person.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       You and @twitter-34985693:disqus crack me up with your opening lines:) You are the most delightful “mongrel” and far more than a “fairly nice person” my friend. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://www.vidyasury.com/ Vidya Sury

    Extrovert. Though I was surprised, probably because the “introvert” descriptions seemed to   match, too. 

    I’ve never worried about who was looking when I did something. And that’s just the way I am. I am generally embarrassed about praise, Kaarina :D – it just makes me happy to do the things I do.  I think I am blessed to be alive and just want to make a difference in the lives of others. I believe that our best deeds are the ones that are done without expecting reciprocation or so people will notice. Wonderful topic. ;-) I am going to pose this question to the children I meet. 

    Those boys in the photo look so charming.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       We are birds of a feather on this @vidyasury:disqus . To be of service is to make a difference. And thanks so much for the lovely tip of the hat to my About page on google+. Now that’s something you did when “no one was looking”, but I will publicly say: I’m humbled and grateful. Thank you. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://twitter.com/rdopping Ralph Dopping

    Hey Kaarina,
    Thanks for referencing one of my posts (especially because I didn’t write it). And that is the point for me. I thoroughly enjoyed having a guest who wanted to express their view on leadership. It was a great experience all around.

    I am an introvert and I am 60% weird (according to @twitter-34985693:disqus ’s quiz). I am proud of both. 

    I also feel most comfortable leading from within or from a place where i can watch my team succeed. The quote I most relate to as a leadership professional is Lao Tsu’s A leader is at his best when people barely know he exists; when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, his team will say: We did it ourselves.

    I much prefer to sit across a table with a friend and really focus in on them. That’s what feels right to me. I think what’s most important is we accept ourselves for who we are and use our natural abilities  to learn and grow.

    Thanks for an inspiring post.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Delighted to both link to your post and to provide a little inspiration @twitter-229922134:disqus :) Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://soulati.com/blog Soulati

    I have always been a nurturer. Seems to me this post is more about giving and taking and nurturing vs. the opposite of that whatever it may be. 

    My professional career has alway been to give back to the profession. Hire and train the kids in my first company (I was a kid myself) and be a mentor as much as possible. 

    But, it has its faults, too; drawing the line when someone takes advantage. In this economy and in this place, I’m feeling that more; it doesn’t feel good. I’m not being as generous or as nurturing, so I’m cocooning and working on myself — the inner spirit, to calm and blossom that inner Goddess.

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       Hey Inner Goddess, you know that whatever is right for you; is right @soulati:disqus . I draw a chalk line for things. I tell people they can smudge the line, but not cross it. Some things are sacrosanct. And yes…there does appear to be a lot of “take” in the world right now. Maybe that’s why I’m continuing my focus on the ‘give’. But cocooning and working on oneself is superb, because “to everything there is a season.” Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://twitter.com/gingerconsult Jen Olney

    Excellent words, Kaarina. I feel that if we are in service to others it’s not for the applause of the cause it’s just because. We do it because it is the right thing to do. It is a calling within to be a service. Yes, perhaps, it is our company motto but within us it is our purpose. I know that is my calling and I do it not for the praise but so that I know that I’m making others better in any way I can…it’s just the right thing to do. 

    • http://twitter.com/KDillabough Kaarina Dillabough

       ”It’s just the right thing to do” – I’m with you on that @twitter-121085582:disqus . And I LOVE the line, “it’s not for the applause of the cause”. So apt, and you show it in all you do. Cheers! Kaarina

  • http://hajrakvetches.com Hajra

    I am an ambivert. No surprises there. People tell me that I talk too much and I like talking to others, but I like curling up all alone with a book at the end of the day! 

    As for helping others, my mom always told me that when you help with your right hand, your left hand shouldn’t know about it. It should be discreet. That is what true help is. Reach out, make a difference, that is all that matters! 

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